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We have fallen into a routine.  We get up, I have coffee and Roger has nothing.  I take him to the hospital and they hydrate him for an hour and a half.  I bring him home and he has a small bowl of cerial with milk and takes a nap.  I know I have been writing scarey posts lately and I wish I didn't have to but I honestly am so scared most of the time.  If I'm scared, I can only imagien how scared Roger is.  He is accepting that cancer is going to take him but hopes for a little more quality time.  I wouldn't call our time now quality but we do have each other.  Wednesday is the day we see the oncologist and have lots of quesitons for him.  Also, very interested to see if he will offer options and what they are.  

On the bright side, all of our children, (his & mine - 6) are so helpful and available through these tough times.  We remind ourselves and pinch ourselves that every one if them is doing well.  As Roger says, we have had more than our fair share of good things.  Even when the chips are down, he can always see the positive side of life.  That's one of the many reasons I married this guy.     


3 people threw a punch at your cancer.
3 people sent you a prayer.
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Family is the best glad all 6 of the kids are available to show their support and love 💗. Sending you a hug Deborah!
Deborah, Thomas like this comment
Damn this damn cancer! Our hearts reach out to you both and we hope you have some very happy times yet to make precious memories. Having such a supportive and caring family around is truly a blessing, and we are thankful they are there for you - pat yourselves on the back for raising such a grand bunch of kids to adulthood, it's something to be very proud of. We are thinking of you, and we pray there are more good things to come your way yet. Hugs xx :*)
Deborah, Marcia like this comment
My heart goes out to you and your husband. Have you explored hospice care? It is really an amazing organization and they can really help all of you. Also, my dear friend is a doula in an organization called ENELDA. It brings grace, comfort and beauty to the death process in the same way a birth doula works when babies are born. I know it is scary but it doesn’t have to be that way. Please look into these options and soon. It’s never too early to involve them. This can help bring some comfort to all of you. Also play some music for him. Sending my love and prayers to all of you. Jane💜🙏🏼
Deborah, Thomas like this comment
My heart goes out to both of you during these difficult days. I am glad you have the support of your children. Thinking of you and Rodger as you see the oncologist.
3 people like this comment
I'm sorry you have to be scared Deborah but I think in time you are going to find courage that you never knew you had. Not all cancers are equally lethal and certainly Pancreas cancer is a huge challenge. I once told Ellen that I was glad that it was I who got cancer and not my hubs or one of my loved ones. I found it easier to have the cancer rather than deal with the heartbreak of watching a loved one go through it. I suspect your husband may feel the same. Whatever happens, I want you to know that you are surrounded by love, both of you, and there are loving arms wrapped around you at all times. I swear that sometimes I can feel those arms. God bless.
4 people like this comment
Thank you Marcia. It's been a rollercoaster from the beginning. I prayed that we would be one of the lucky ones and survive this cancer but it doesn't seem to be the case. As sad as it is, in our stronger moments we are able to talk about the things that are important to us. My husband wants to have 1 on 1 conversations with each of the kids and close family members. He is just so dang thoughtful. I am lucky to have him.
Marcia, Stefanie like this comment
I trusty think family gives us our best lens to see life through! I hope you all get better time together!
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Vital Info


January 24, 2017

Skowhegan, Maine 04976

March 17, 1952

Loved One is a Cancer Survivor/Fighter

Cancer Info

Pancreas Cancer

Pancreatic Cancer

October 24, 2016

Stage 1

1.1 - 2.0 cm



Pain, rugged treatment and side effects. Uncertainty

We have today



Not yet



Maine Med, Dr. Rutstein

Done think about it all the time

October 15


Pain, fatigue, loss of appetitie, depression and anxiety.

Declined radiation on advice from second opinion from Dana Farber

None available

None avaliable



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